My Journey

Hey all   This is a positive post.  I’ve been running allot recently and been looking after my body allot more. Last night I ran 8 miles and it felt so good. I’ve also lost allot of weight and feeling great   I’ve been single for a while now, apart from a few sexual relationships.  I am now actively looking for a long term relationship.  So yesterday afternoon I was on my way to pick my boys up from school. It’s a 2 hour hour journey on the underground. I always take a book with me. This time I didn’t as I wanted to listen to some music.  I’m on the train to Liverpool Street station, and so dose this this beautiful girl called Laura. She sits opposite me and keeps looking at me. She said hi and I love your beard. I’ve liked it for a long time. So we talked all the way too Liverpool Street and exchanged names and numbers.  I’m now at the boys school  and waiting   to pick them up. There’s a teacher that used to teach my eldest Jayden. She...

 I started counselling sessions a few days ago. I started talking about the sexual abuse I suffered as a 6 year old and onwards.  I’ve had so much support from friends on Twitter and on Facebook. It’s taken me 38 years to get to the point that I can freely talk about it.  It brought up some fresh challenges. Because my parents hid the fact this happened to me, allot of my family have no idea this happened to me.  I spent most of yesterday in tears after the counselling session. I tried to hold it in during the session, but I couldn’t. Along with the tears I realised allot of the built up stress.  Stay safe. 

It’s now 2am and I have so much work to do. I’m trying to build up my Photography business. I’m not currently working on it full time just yet.  It’s something that I’ve wanted to do for the longest time. I was too comfortable working full time in an office, getting a regular pay cheque.  This pandemic is going to cause some challenges, but it’s something I feel passionate about. There’s not going to be any work for a while so I’m happy to take my time and doing this right.  Anxiety attacks has slowed me down so much. I know these won’t completely stop, but I’ve been getting some help. I’m feeling stronger now and so much more happier then I have in such a very long time. 

I spent New Year’s Eve with my boys. I booked a hotel for the 3 of us. It’s been a tough year for them both, with there mum and I splitting up.  On my way to Dagenham I got talking to one of the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met. She said hi, with this amazing smile. We ended up chatting the whole journey there. She gave me her number and I gave her mine. We are going to meet up once we get out of tier 4. It’s now going to be a while, not that we are in full lockdown. We’ve chatted allot since New Year’s Eve.  I picked the boys up from the flat and headed to the shops to get some snacks. We got checked in and got comfortable. Good films on the telly and the boys very happy.  Happy New Year to you all. 

 With the new year almost upon, and it’s been a tough one all round. It’s need a difficult one for me. First time in almost 9 years I haven’t lived with my boys. Many sleepless nights and tears.  My New Year resolution is to move closer to my boys. Not interested in renting, but to buy. I’ve already seen a few flats, but nothing seems right.  Hopefully I can restart my search in the new year. Covid has slowed my viewings down. Still able to look online. 

 I met this girl called Nicola in Wembley. West Ham fan, doesn’t want kids and beautiful. A whirlwind romance that moved quickly from a sexual thing, to us loving each other.  The reason for me writing this starts near Christmas Day. London was put into tier 4. No mixing of household. Nicola and I were supposed to spend Christmas Day together. We both agreed that it wasn’t safe and clever for us to spend Christmas Day together. She did come round to mine 2 day before Christmas and stayed over  I didn’t even think on it   Christmas Day arrived and we spoke loads,  allot of my Twitter followers kept me company as well. The day was a really good day, lots of call and messages. On the evening of the 27th I got a call from Nicola, that she wants to beak up because her ex was back and wanted to get back together. Turns out she spent the day with him on Christmas Eve and Day. Every time we video called on both days he was there. She finally admitted that she cheated on...